Just keeping it real- I sure ain't no Saint!

We took Joshua to Knoxville this past Sunday to meet Scott's grandparents & several aunts, uncles, & cousins. Of course, he was a doll & acted like his sweet self. He is truly settling in & more & more of his little personality is coming out daily. He's quite an inpatient lil booger- screaming (shrieking) when he wants something or doesn't get his way. (He embarrassed the kids at the ice cream shop today- they said, "mom, let's go...he's causing a scene!" ha- hysterical!! Now they know how I feel when that throw a fit in public!) Not sleeping as much these days either. Tomorrow will mark 1 month since we headed to Atlanta to meet him, although his true "Gotcha Day" anniversary is not until Friday. Reality is finally starting to settle in here...the first couple of weeks didn't even seem real. This reality has brought with it a new set of challenges. Honestly it has just hit me, that my life was super easy before- not that it's necessarily hard now, just different. Someone needs something of me pretty much all the time! Needless to say, I have had to deal with my own selfishness. Parenting is HARD! Really hard, & I am trying especially hard to spend lots of time with Joshua, Caleb & Emalee Grace individually. I have had concerns about Caleb & Emalee Grace adjusting to so much attention on Joshua (& not on them) so I want to be sure they are getting what they need too. My precious mother in law was here for a couple of nights at the first of the week & that was WONDERFUL! Emalee Grace & I got lots of time together, which she was needing(including a mani/pedi). She's not the baby anymore! Caleb is not quite as needy in the attention area. (She can't help being high maintenance, she gets it honest!)Each child is different & each one is precious & I am so thankful that God chose me to be the mommy to these 3 sweet kiddos! I have to remind myself of that when I'm feeling selfish...daydreaming of time by myself... sitting on a beach somewhere... reading a book with a fruity drink... with no one calling "mommy!". Meanwhile I tell myself God has not asked me to be crucified on a cross or anything even close...He just wants me to allow Him to work through me & make a difference in these 3 little lives...sure doesn't sound hard when I think about it that way! Thank GOD Scott & I don't have to do it by ourselves!